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The Eyes Have It

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: April 1, 2009

This is for my friend Yvonne Ponsor, who has brought many new understandings into my life: the meaning of courage, the power of persistence, the generosity of friendship and the vision of all that the mind is capable of.

Yvonne is a retired professor of literature and mythology. Despite the slow process of losing her vision, for the past 10 years she has been dean of The Community Church College in Sun City Center. I met her seven years ago, and our friendship grew like a seed planted in fertile soil.

Yesterday we were speaking on the phone about my newest grandchild Jayden, who is three months old, and Yvonne made an unusual suggestion.

"Write about her eyes, Judy," she said. "There is always something so special about a baby's eyes when she looks at you." She's right and it was a poignant moment.

Even at three months, there is wonder in Jayden's huge dark eyes. Everything is new and a few things are becoming familiar. An enormous range of expressions emanate from her eyes as she looks around. When she sees mommy and daddy, her eyes dance with the joy of recognition. Television brings wide-eyed curiosity. Removing a bottle of formula to make time for a burp is a signal for potently angry eyes.

But the eyes that intrigue both Yvonne and me have the look of inquiry as a baby stares into your face to learn who you are and what to expect from you. They are unflinchingly innocent eyes - often vaguely focused and always initially trusting. They are one of the first tools through which a baby learns about her world. They prime intelligence and foster reciprocal love.

And now when I am giving Jayden a bottle and she stares into my eyes, I think of Yvonne. For more than 80 years, her eyes have been the tools of her trade, both as a voracious reader and a gifted writer and teacher. She has absorbed the world and distilled much of its essence, sharing many of her understandings with her students. Her eyes are no longer innocent, but they convey an unwavering honesty and continuing determination to learn and grow.

And I think that as an enormously curious person for all of her life, Yvonne feels a special bonding with a baby who is just beginning that journey. Her message to me is to relish sharing that travel with Jayden, to appreciate and not take for granted the language of a baby's eyes.

The silent speech of a loving or angry glance, the wordless curiosity and drive to know more, and the ability of babies to read as well as send "eye messages," are gifts that nurture their survival as well as our own.

Once again, Yvonne has opened my eyes to the possibilities of learning and growth. It is my privilege to thank her.

Judy Kramer can be reached by e-mail at JudyandOz@tampabay.rr.com.

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