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Fifty Years Of Friendship

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: November 12, 2008

Old memories are written in indelible ink and familiar feelings jump fresh from ancient sources like spring water.

In the full bloom of aging, on a recent visit to Maryland my two high school friends and I decided to touch base with each other after several years apart. We have managed to keep our friendship current by phone and mail for more than half a century. We decided to meet at a quiet restaurant for a long and lovely dinner.

We became friends in 10th-grade gym class, one of us wearing the requisite poodle skirt. Two were brunettes, one blondish. Two were short, one tall. One was good at math, one good at music and one good at English. On the cusp of adolescence, we were launched as a unit into the social whirl that was 1956.

Together we learned to drive, to dance, to date. We shared many firsts: first boyfriends, first kisses, first term papers, first graduations. One was valedictorian. It was not I!

We began the same college together and there our paths diverged. One became an English teacher, one became a music teacher and one left college early to marry and become the first mother among us. She finished college later as a math major when her two children could celebrate with her and is now a graphic artist.

The night we met was cool with the arrival of autumn, and the fire at the restaurant welcomed our reminiscences. After the hugs and kisses came the exchange of compliments, then family photographs, then information. In the 52 years we had shared many beginnings and endings.

We had seven children among us, and 10 grandchildren. One of us had been widowed and had remarried. We had supported each other through the loss of six parents. All of our children had married. One of us was retired.

We played catch-up, plowing through the do-you-remembers, scouring our brains for the names of teen-aged friends. We talked about every boy we had ever dated. We remembered friends who had died and pledged gratitude to the fate that had allowed us to remain and meet again. We spoke of loss and wondered together how our children would remember us. We talked about our parents.

Dining on prime ribs and memories, we filled in the empty spaces in our relationship and made it whole again. Five decades ago we had bonded in the shared tasks of high school and adolescence.

For all that time, we had been safety nets for each other, touching base in joys and crises; going for long periods without contact and then picking up the thread of conversation as if it had never stopped. We have protected each other from loneliness simply by being alive.

It was time to leave. The plates were empty. There was something special about the moment. We asked someone to take a picture. He captured us in a freeze frame of late middle age.

We had grown up together. Now it was time to grow old together.

Judy Kramer may be reached at JudyandOz@tampabay.rr.com.

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